Feminine Side of Grief Series
Individual Track Learning Guide
Lesson Three: To Tend & Befriend
Questions Worth Considering
Best Practices – (Choose at Least One)
1. As care providers, do you have a circle of support? If you were to create one, who would be in it? And how would you receive help? Consider the possibility of having circles of support in other areas of your community life.” –Soul & Science Lesson
List those in your circle of support. Look at how you can add to those types of resources. Make a goal to expand your circle of support.
2. “Some participants thought that the ideal time to receive support is not immediately after bereavement but later in the process. Some of the types of support that were helpful at a later timeframe were: Social support from friends, family, work colleagues and the community to alleviate continuing loneliness and isolation and to have the opportunity to talk about the deceased after the initial bereavement. . .”- “Matching response to need: What makes social networks fit for providing bereavement support?”
Think of someone you know professionally or socially that maybe later in the bereavement process. Reach out and offer support to alleviate loneliness or honor the memory of the loved one that has died.
3. “Often, when a co-worker returns to work after the death of a loved one, we don’t know what to say—so we don’t say anything. But staying silent can make the grieving co-worker feel isolated.” – Lisa Rabasca Roepe
When supporting a co-worker who has experienced loss. follow the advice by Lisa Rabasca Reope in the SHRM article “How to Support Employees Through Grief and Loss”
“I’m glad you are back, and we’re here for you.”
“We can’t change what happened, but if there is anything we can do to make your life easier, know that we are all here for you.”
-Acknowledge that grief is ongoing.
“How are you today?” is better than “How are you?” Grant says because it allows people to answer honestly beyond just responding, “I’m fine.”
-Show up with a specific offer. But make it clear that it’s OK if the person wants to decline.
“I’m in the lobby if you want to talk. I will be here for the next hour whether you come down or not.”
-Take your cues from the griever.
“I’d love to hear more about your loved one whenever that might be convenient for you. I want to respect your privacy.”