Books: The Masculine Side of Grief Lesson 2


Men, Grief, and Solitude: A Different Perspective 

– Daniel R. Duggan ,  2014

men-grief-and-solitude-bookWhen men experience a loss, their first step may be to move inward into their solitude, where they can express themselves, confront what has happened, deal with feelings, and begin to sort out their next steps. Typically, this process helps them to eventually move beyond their solitude and into relationship again with the significant people in their lives. This book explores why this process may be important for men, tells stories of men coping with loss, and looks at gender difference in grief and the various doors into the core of grief. In addition, it examines how to be helpful to men working through loss, as well as how men can affirm and understand a way of grieving and healing that fits them. The first three chapters offer some background on the anatomy of grief; the anthropological imprint and grief; and socialization, rituals, and the importance of honoring male grief. Chapter 4 looks at gender difference and coping, and chapter 5 examines eight different doors into the grief process. Chapter 6 explores the role of solitude in grief. Chapter 7 focused on the role of the witness and introduces Stan, a World War II veteran, and his story. Chapter 8 sets out 11 ways to be helpful to men in grief. The final chapter directly address men in grief, outlining what you need to know when you are the man in grief.

Fatherloss: How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms with the Deaths of Their Dads 

–Neil Chethik , 2001

fatherloss-bookFatherLoss is a nuanced look at one of the most common and least-studied events in men’s lives. Offering a fresh view of the grieving process and practical advice, this book contains information on: how a son can prepare for his loss; coping immediately following the death; a woman’s role in helping men through it; and the different ways men grieve.

The Way Men Heal 

–Tom Golden, 2014

The Way Men Heal BookThe Way Men Heal is a concise book that offers insight into the masculine side of healing. Have you ever wondered why men and women seem to heal differently? If so, this is a book for you. It explains how and why men and some women heal in an active mode rather than an interactive one. It offers plenty of examples including Eric Clapton and how he healed after the death of his young son Conor, and Michael Jordan and how he healed after his father’s murder. You will see how these men and many others use action as a means to tell their story. You will see how they are pulled to the future and use honoring as a means to heal rather than the expected interactive “talking about the past” modes. You will see how those who use these modes do so in a way that is simply not easily detected. It is basically invisible. The book offers a section on how to help the men you love and also a section offering therapists clinical ideas for working with men. If you are a man, read this book to affirm your unique way of healing. If you are a woman, read this book to understand the men you love. When we understand each other our relationships flourish.

Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas

– Alan D. Wolfelt PhD , 2001

healing-your-grieving-heartWith sensitivity and insight, this series offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, it explains how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. Each book, geared for mourning adults, teens, or children, provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that living their lives can begin again.